my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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