Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I understand Curling. That high.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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