New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
