these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize