That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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