I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
