Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
