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• (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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• (619): View more from California

  Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.

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• (916): View more from California

  I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping

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