I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
worst night to have a conscience
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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