I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
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It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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