walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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