I could make wine with my vomit
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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