do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I understand Curling. That high.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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