what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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