This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
