You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
