so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
