I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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