He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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