Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
