I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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