he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
