I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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