nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
