Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
