I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.