One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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