Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
