Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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