I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.