He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
