and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos