Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.

Fav 7 1178 3294
share tweet
(304): View more from West Virginia

my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.

Fav 25 1599 6291
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

Fav 12 4358 1607
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card

Fav 30 2782 8287
share tweet
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(618): View more from Illinois

we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

Fav 3 3174 1617
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.

Fav 10 2324 1162
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.

Fav 10 827 2609
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.

Fav 6 1125 588
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that

Fav 3 609 406
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT