I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.