You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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