rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
