So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
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Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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