this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
