you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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