Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
