I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
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If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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