I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
