Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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