we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
