So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
