I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
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and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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