Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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