i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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