the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?