Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?