Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

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(519): View more from Ontario

Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.

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(816): View more from Missouri

They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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(+61): View more from Australia

We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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(707): View more from California

come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.

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