yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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