weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable