He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS