I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Too much gin, very little bucket
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize