You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
