hotel room ftw
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
