turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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