I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
