I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
