I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
