if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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