he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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