WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
